Sunday, 29 September 2013

Dear Diary, a Bewl Water special (heavily redacted to protect the minors)



I still have old Skip’s password from Camp Downe...teehee! So I present you with a Dear Diary special in celebration of Chislehurst Invicta who so nearly, but not quite, managed to go on the Bewl Water weekend recently. Or did they? Don’t forget to leave a comment before we tell Malcolm! Young Skip
CHISLEHURST INVICTA WAVING FROM THE CLUB HOUSE (FROM BEHIND THE CURTAINS!)
Dear Diary (***** ****)
Does anyone know how BIG Bewl Water is? I do. The surface area is the same as 436 Wembley football pitches. And, dear diary, how do I know this? Because I’ve travelled over all 436 Wembley football pitches whilst sailing today. It wasn’t my fault that the wind was blowing in the wrong direction so I couldn’t turn. I just kept going and then found myself in a river. Anyway, I’m now back and in one piece – thanks to Frank.

Dear Diary (Frank, the helicopter pilot)
We had a really unusual job today. We were called to Hastings. We picked up a boy who had sailed all the way from Bewl Water down the River Bewl. He told us that the wind was blowing the wrong way and so we asked him why he didn’t tack. “Because I like getting lost”, he replied. Thank goodness he’s being collected tomorrow morning before he gets a chance to wind-surf.

Dear Diary (Three Explorers, ********, ****** and ****.)
As this is leader Livingstone’s first scout camp (Did you know they called you that, “Livingstone” – Explorer) we had decided to let her know just what she had let herself in for. We set our alarms for 3.30pm and then started talking AT THE TOP OF OUR VOICES! Unfortunately we woke up Skip who wasn’t very pleased so tonight he’s sent us to bed FIRST without any campfire jelly babies.

Dear Diary (Katie).
This camping lark’s ok isn’t it? I’m sharing with Annie who told Skip “I know it’s a big tent but it’s the only one I had”. In reality, as well as the two bedrooms, we have a bathroom, toilet, jacuzzi, library and TV room. I also have invested in a pair of ear plugs, just in case the Explorers try to wake me up in the middle of the night with ******** on his soapbox, holding forth at the top of his voice on some topic that he knows absolutely nothing about.

Dear Diary (xxxx)
I’ve had a look around the camp and I’ve seen a few very nice girl guides. I’m definitely not going to tell zzzzzzz.

Dear Diary (zzzzzzz)
I’ve had a look around the camp and I’ve seen a few very nice girl guides. I’m definitely not going to tell xxxx.

Dear Diary (“Jane, with the curly mane”)
Uh-oh! I don’t believe it! xxxx and zzzzzzz are here! I don’t want them to see me so I’m hiding in the guide tent. I wonder if they’ll find me before Sunday?!

Dear Diary (*****)
Uh-oh! I don’t believe it! The two-timing pig is here! Well I’m not going to tell xxxx or zzzzzzz. Why don’t they notice ME! Maybe I should become a guide. Then I could get my very own welly stick which I would prod them both with.

Dear Diary (***)
Bliss! Back on camp where I can be myself. It’s the only place where I can use my favourite Barbie dinner plate without anyone laughing, although I’ve yet to sing my favourite song, “I’m a Barbie Girl” in front of any of the other scouts. Maybe I’ll pluck up courage to sing it this evening.

Dear Diary (Rachel, 7th Tunbridge Wells Guides)
I’ve seen a few very nice Explorer chaps around today. I plucked up courage to ask their Scout leader today (whilst he was eating ALL the chocolate that a parent had brought along for all the scouts to share). They said their names were ********, **** and ******.

Dear Diary (****)
I met a very nice guide today. She said her name was Jane. She had a very curly mane. She asked me which group I was from. When I said 5th Chis she SCREAMED and ran away. What is going on? Later on Skip presented me with a girl guide badge which he said was being awarded for services to guiding. What is going on going on?

Dear Diary (******)
Today Skip said that for every piece of Swiss roll that I ate, I had to eat a piece of fruit. 17 bananas, 6 apples, 5 pears, 3 figs, not forgetting two strawberry sandwiches later I am now feeling extremely sick.

Dear Diary (Chislehurst Invicta)
Due to the fact that our Skip told us that the Bewl people had lost our booking we were unable to camp with our friends at 5th Chis as we had planned. However, all was not lost. To make amends our Skip (with his sailing connections) managed to get us upstairs at the Bewl Sailing Club where we camped for two nights. It was very posh, we had great food and a super view of the lake. And oh how we laughed! All day Saturday and Sunday morning we watched from our vantage point as 5th Chis tried their hand at sailing (we told the instructor to be REALLY boring – and he told us he was! He said that whenever Katie asked him a question he just grunted!) When it came to wind surfing THERE WAS NO WIND so we watched as two of the parent helpers just kept falling into the lake. First one, then the other, then the first again and so on! They got a taster session alright! A taster of Bewl water; that is to say, the water in Bewl, with all its germs, bugs and assorted bacteria that it holds. As for the kayaking, there was only one scout that was any good, and he made sure he was out all day without any of the other 5th Chis scouts. Very sensible! I wonder if they’ll ever find out just how close we were to them all?! Goodnight!