Dear Diary, a Bewl Water special (heavily redacted to protect the minors)

I still have old Skip’s password from Camp Downe...teehee! So I present you with a Dear Diary special in celebration of Chislehurst Invicta who so nearly, but not quite, managed to go on the Bewl Water weekend recently. Or did they? Don’t forget to leave a comment before we tell Malcolm! Young Skip

CHISLEHURST INVICTA WAVING FROM THE CLUB HOUSE (FROM BEHIND THE CURTAINS!)

Dear Diary (***** ****)

Does anyone know how BIG Bewl Water is? I do. The surface area is the same as 436 Wembley football pitches. And, dear diary, how do I know this? Because I’ve travelled over all 436 Wembley football pitches whilst sailing today. It wasn’t my fault that the wind was blowing in the wrong direction so I couldn’t turn. I just kept going and then found myself in a river. Anyway, I’m now back and in one piece – thanks to Frank.

Dear Diary (Frank, the helicopter pilot)

We had a really unusual job today. We were called to Hastings. We picked up a boy who had sailed all the way from Bewl Water down the River Bewl. He told us that the wind was blowing the wrong way and so we asked him why he didn’t tack. “Because I like getting lost”, he replied. Thank goodness he’s being collected tomorrow morning before he gets a chance to wind-surf.

Dear Diary (Three Explorers, ********, ****** and ****.)

As this is leader Livingstone’s first scout camp (Did you know they called you that, “Livingstone” – Explorer) we had decided to let her know just what she had let herself in for. We set our alarms for 3.30pm and then started talking AT THE TOP OF OUR VOICES! Unfortunately we woke up Skip who wasn’t very pleased so tonight he’s sent us to bed FIRST without any campfire jelly babies.

Dear Diary (Katie).

This camping lark’s ok isn’t it? I’m sharing with Annie who told Skip “I know it’s a big tent but it’s the only one I had”. In reality, as well as the two bedrooms, we have a bathroom, toilet, jacuzzi, library and TV room. I also have invested in a pair of ear plugs, just in case the Explorers try to wake me up in the middle of the night with ******** on his soapbox, holding forth at the top of his voice on some topic that he knows absolutely nothing about.

Dear Diary (xxxx)

I’ve had a look around the camp and I’ve seen a few very nice girl guides. I’m definitely not going to tell zzzzzzz.

Dear Diary (zzzzzzz)

I’ve had a look around the camp and I’ve seen a few very nice girl guides. I’m definitely not going to tell xxxx.

Dear Diary (“Jane, with the curly mane”)

Uh-oh! I don’t believe it! xxxx and zzzzzzz are here! I don’t want them to see me so I’m hiding in the guide tent. I wonder if they’ll find me before Sunday?!

Dear Diary (*****)

Uh-oh! I don’t believe it! The two-timing pig is here! Well I’m not going to tell xxxx or zzzzzzz. Why don’t they notice ME! Maybe I should become a guide. Then I could get my very own welly stick which I would prod them both with.

Dear Diary (***)

Bliss! Back on camp where I can be myself. It’s the only place where I can use my favourite Barbie dinner plate without anyone laughing, although I’ve yet to sing my favourite song, “I’m a Barbie Girl” in front of any of the other scouts. Maybe I’ll pluck up courage to sing it this evening.

Dear Diary (Rachel, 7^th Tunbridge Wells Guides)

I’ve seen a few very nice Explorer chaps around today. I plucked up courage to ask their Scout leader today (whilst he was eating ALL the chocolate that a parent had brought along for all the scouts to share). They said their names were ********, **** and ******.

Dear Diary (****)

I met a very nice guide today. She said her name was Jane. She had a very curly mane. She asked me which group I was from. When I said 5^th Chis she SCREAMED and ran away. What is going on? Later on Skip presented me with a girl guide badge which he said was being awarded for services to guiding. What is going on going on?

Dear Diary (******)

Today Skip said that for every piece of Swiss roll that I ate, I had to eat a piece of fruit. 17 bananas, 6 apples, 5 pears, 3 figs, not forgetting two strawberry sandwiches later I am now feeling extremely sick.

Dear Diary (Chislehurst Invicta)

Due to the fact that our Skip told us that the Bewl people had lost our booking we were unable to camp with our friends at 5^th Chis as we had planned. However, all was not lost. To make amends our Skip (with his sailing connections) managed to get us upstairs at the Bewl Sailing Club where we camped for two nights. It was very posh, we had great food and a super view of the lake. And oh how we laughed! All day Saturday and Sunday morning we watched from our vantage point as 5^th Chis tried their hand at sailing (we told the instructor to be REALLY boring – and he told us he was! He said that whenever Katie asked him a question he just grunted!) When it came to wind surfing THERE WAS NO WIND so we watched as two of the parent helpers just kept falling into the lake. First one, then the other, then the first again and so on! They got a taster session alright! A taster of Bewl water; that is to say, the water in Bewl, with all its germs, bugs and assorted bacteria that it holds. As for the kayaking, there was only one scout that was any good, and he made sure he was out all day without any of the other 5^th Chis scouts. Very sensible! I wonder if they’ll ever find out just how close we were to them all?! Goodnight!

Photographs

I will be preparing a CD with all the phographs taken at the Camp by myself, Akela, Amy and Alice G.

If anyone has any additional photos please contact me on malcfox@ntlworld.com.

Leaving

 

That looks a lot better than before!  (Sorry about the date on someone's leg)

 

 

Well?  There a lot more tent pegs to do!

 

 Three of you!  Young Skip can carry two tents in one hand. 

 

Site now all cleared away.  Note no litter.

 

 

We saved the Whale! (thats another story)

 

The two Skips and Akela

 

But who is who?

 

Clue, 'Young Skip' is the pretty one.

 

Please note no 'Welly Sticks' were injured in the making of this Blog.



 

 

 

Closing Ceremony

 

Getting ready

Not dissimlar to the Opening Ceremony.

 



 

With our new Friends (Perhaps future Explorer Scout?)

Complaint

I regret to say that we have received an official complaint from a Guide Leader at  Campdowne.
 
''Dear Scout Leaders, 
 
I am horrified at your treatment of one of our 'Welly Sticks'.  Kidnapping him and forcing him to accompany you to London for  your own sordid amusement is 'DISGUSTING'. I cannot imagine the horrors he must have been subject to.
 
Welly Sticks have only one purpose in life which is to support our girls Wellington Boots when it is not raining.  Please see attached photograph.

 
On another matter I have noted that some Guides were fraternising with Scouts and actually enjoying themselves.  You know full well that Guides are not at Campdowne to have a good time, and are not allowed out after 9.00pm.  If I find that Scouts have been enticing Guides on to Scout sites, I will report you to Bear Grylls!
 
Frustratingly yours
 
Hillary Herstmonceux, Very Senior Guide Captain''
 
As 'Older Skip', I take these matters very seriously and have dealt with the situation in the 'appropriate' manner.  Unfortunately the letter did not go down on first flush so I poked it with a 'Welly Stick'!

Beach Party

Fun was had by all!

 

Akela with friend

BOOGIE BOYS

Why am I here?

 

 

More Boogie boys

Getting Down!

 

Hen Party?

Turn around Alice I am taking a photo!

 

Wet and Wild.

Mutton Stew

Our dinner tonight consisted of 'Lamb' with added sinew and gristle.  We have concluded that the budget must be stretched.  At least the desert; apple pie and custard was edible.  We love warm custard and frozen pie.

Scouts are all excited and getting ready for the Beach Party tonight, we are looking forward to Leaders 'Dad Dancing'.  Photographs will be de-rigeur.

Girls tent

 

He turned up at last! Now wants his nails painted.

 

Boys tent

Party preparation

Our resident Beautician 

Serious Incident at Campdowne

Please do not be alarmed if you read of a serious incident at the Camp where a Young Scout Leader ran amok with a Guide 'Welly Stick'.

As far as I am aware the culprit has not yet been caught which is a little disconcerting..

On another matter, we are fortunate to have received help from a new Scout from the French contingent, (43rd Versailles) a Monsieur Pierre Moustache.  We haven't seen Young Skip today so I assume he is helping out at Bewl after the 'Guide Leader incident'



Monsieur Pierre Moustache

 

 

Dear Diary

Dear Diary

 

My name is Wanda and I am very unhappy. I am staying next door to (5th) Chislehurst (Invicta) and I am not appreciated. I am very colourful; I have a smiley face (although it's very small) and am very slim; some call me a little rigid. Sometimes I am kicked. I have been trodden on, ignored and left out in the rain.

 

However, whilst I am not very happy with the guides, I have made friends with the scouts next door. And so it was, on Wednesday, I was liberated, under cover of darkness, very, very early - secreted away in Skip's ruck sack and taken on a trip to London.

 

It was wonderful; never before have I felt so alive. I was taken absolutely everywhere, then I slipped away...

 



First stop, the Ministry of Defence, where I reported the guides next door for international terrorism...

Then to Horseguards where I asked if they could send a regiment to take on the guides...

A little rest in St James' Park where someone used me to dry out a shoe (not necessarily the owner's) after they had been a little too close to the lake...I was happy to be of service...

Then I met a Gurka who said that he would pop along in the afternoon to let the guide leaders' tents down (again)...

Then it was along the Mall to Buckingham House. Her Majesty wasn't in but I managed to speak to a Lady in Waiting on a matter "of great importance" to myself and my friends - captive slavery...

I was taken down Piccadilly where I knew I would find some ex-servicemen to offer some advice on what I now felt was the right time....World Domination of "Wandas". After all, there are enough of us - several million around the world, all different shapes and sizes...

Next I decided to take a nap by the Serpentine. By now I was in control..."No, I won't pay for a deckchair!" The attendant tried to evict me but he didn't reckon on my World Power that I was amassing...I have a pointy end...his demise was speedy...

With the kitchen staff no more I liberated the café. Mocha coffee (£2.60), double-choc muffins (£1.90), all paninis @ £3.80, waffles, rib eye steak and chips, not forgetting the whole gelateria...were all now free...

I kidnapped a policeman (although he didn't seem to bothered about it). I am in control of the police; I now consider that I have more power than the Home Secretary...

Wellington seemed to me to want to be a friend...so I knocked on his door - there was no one in. It seemed I wasn't garnering the support that I was expecting...

I decided to arm myself with boulders...they didn't have anything suitable in stock so I thought I would have a burger; but the queue was too long so I moved on...

At Burlington Arcade a I told a friendly man in a funny uniform of my quest for World Domination. He told me that the best thing to do was to go back to camp and say sorry...

I 'phoned the guides to say sorry and please come and get me...I couldn't get through...

I found the scouts and pleaded..."Take me back to camp, my quest for World Domination is at an end." They took me to Covent Garden to buy  the guide leaders some flowers. Unfortunately they were 33 years too late...

However, the scouts did take pity on me. They bought me a nice mug and then took me back to camp where I was sneaked back into my place once the sun had gone down. But not until I had told they scouts a story before bedtime about "Wanda, the Wicked Welly-Peg". No-one slept last night I can tell you!

If you liked my Dear Diary, email your friends this website address so that the World can appreciate me. We're getting over 100 hits a day...but we want millions! And don't forget to leave a comment...

Wanda, the Welly-Stick xxx

Wednesday evening

After Cajun Chicken (a little bit spicy as the cooks read the quantities incorrectly) there was a mass exodus to the WC!  Only joking Mums and Dads.  We joined in the carnival and lit the path to our mess tent.  Scouts are now waiting for hot chocolate and the latest episode of 'Dear Diary'  

We are a little bit concerned as we can hear 'cackling' from the Guide Leaders in the adjoining pitch.  (We think one may be a Witch)  Will they get their revenge for our earlier indiscretions?  It was not 'Young Skip's' fault that the squirty cream went on their tent, it was Joseph's fault because he ducked.

The paper rockets fired by 'Young Skip' kept Scouts amused but the recipients near and far seemed bemused by the messages within!

By this time 'Old Skip' seemed a little weary.

As I write, another letter is received from the Guides, this time its not a complaint.

Visit to London

Horse Guards Parade

 

Can you spot your Scout?  One is lying on the ground 

Buckingham Palace, the Queen was out!

 



 Wellington Arch

Burlington Arcade with a Beadle.

 

I bet you are wondering why our friend is holding a painted 'Welly Stick' which we have liberated from the guides next door!

 

All will be revealed in 'Dear Diary'