Dear Diary

The scout catapult has never been able to be fired in Chislehurst due to its antisocial tendencies. Downe in Down, so to speak, this is less of an issue so on Carnival we set it up and aimed it towards the Guides. Then who should walk down to visit our camp but none other than the Mayor of Bromley. "Good afternoon" Mr Mayor, I said, as obsequiously as possible, "would you like to have a go on our catapult. I can let you have a specially big water bomb." "Delighted to," he replied, "but do you err think it's a good idea to fire it towards the Guides?" "No probs," I said, "the bomb will go straight over." Unsurprisingly, he didn't "pull the trigger" as much as he should, slamming the bomb into the Meon Valley Guides' dining shelter and knocking over their Victoria Sponges." "Run!" I said. "Where to?" he asked. "That's your problem mate" as I dived into our mess tent bag.